By: Hunter Montroy

Director: Evan Twohy
Writer: Evan Twohy
Cast: Himesh Patel, Sarah Goldberg & Steven Yeun

One of the worst feelings when watching a movie is when it’s just begun—you’re maybe 10 minutes in—and you suddenly know you won’t end up liking it. You give it your all, hoping each minute might redeem the experience, but you just keep struggling. That’s pretty much how I felt watching Bubble & Squeak.

Bubble & Squeak follows a recently married couple who decide to take their honeymoon in an unnamed nation where cabbages are banned. They’re so banned that children are taught to hate them, and one month out of the year is dedicated entirely to cabbage-hating. Meanwhile, our two main characters? You guessed it: they’re smuggling cabbages.

The first half of this movie is its biggest flaw. There’s almost nothing gripping or genuinely entertaining. It’s supposed to be a dark absurdist comedy, but it’s never really funny—absurd, sure, but not funny. The second half picks up a bit once Norman (played by Dave Franco) appears, giving the film some momentum. Still, it doesn’t add enough to make it worth dedicating your limited time on Earth to watch.

Declan (Himesh Patel) and Delores (Sarah Goldberg) do the best they can with the material they have. It’s clearly inspired by how Wes Anderson films are written, but it just falls flat. Matt Berry plays a character named Shazbor, and he’s completely underused. He wanders around, never becomes the character we expect, and rarely has a funny moment. The waste of his talent feels almost impressive in how disappointing it is.

During the Q&A, director Evan Twohy mentioned this was originally a short play—probably what it should have stayed. If not a short play, then at least a short film. Sometimes, when your premise is about smuggling cabbages into a cabbage-banned nation, it’s best to keep things brief.

Sadly, there isn’t much else to say about Bubble & Squeak. On paper, maybe it sounds vaguely amusing, but honestly, I’d recommend watching something else. Bubble & Squeak just lands with a thud, like a cabbage hitting concrete.

Final Score: 1.5/5