Directed by: Scott Derrickson

Written by: Zach Dean

Starring: Miles Teller, Anya Taylor-Joy, and Sigourney Weaver

What is there even worth saying about The Gorge? It’s just annoying and is probably one of the worst scripts you’ll come across this year.

It’s kind of wild to think that some people read this script and thought, “Oh hell yeah, this is the draft we want. This is the script we’re giving tens of millions of dollars to.”

I genuinely believe that if you gave a class of film students this story idea, at least one of them could churn out a better script than this one. There is NOTHING even remotely clever or smart throughout the entire film. You know when you watch a David Fincher film and he’s ironed out every tiny kink because he respects the audience’s intelligence? Well, leave it to The Gorge to ignore all of that. It’s a truly dumb film, and I mean that literally. The choices made by the characters—and by the writer and director—are purely awful. There are probably a dozen or more moments where it’s just lazy or completely defies common sense.

Oh my god. It’s SO cringe-worthy, especially during the transition from the first act to the second act, when they’re just getting to know each other. Good lord. I was genuinely in pain at some of the nonsense here.

I guess the core idea of The Gorge isn’t bad. It feels more like a 30-minute short film than a two-hour movie. I’m sure talented people could have turned it into a solid feature, but that’s not what we got in this timeline.

Inside the Gorge is probably the best part of the movie. It reminds me a bit of the environment in The Shimmer from Alex Garland’s Annihilation, but obviously less cool. It tries to capture that vibe, but they gloss over everything, and sometimes the VFX are simultaneously smooth and off-putting.

Also, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross did the score for this movie. Well, you wouldn’t know it.

The Gorge isn’t worth a review that’s “professional” to write out because just like everyone involved it’s not worth my time to give a shit. It is fair to say you can skip this one.

Final Score: 1/5